‘…For this is what I have learned, in my short life: do not act out of anger. Act from love, or not at all.
I have seen it, how anger makes a space for what I must call evil. This is what I had come to understand, going with Vivian through the turmoiled streets, into the buildings where people suffered, where they died, and where grief and anger infected those who loved them as surely as any illness did, as insidious as any virus. I used to have a simpler idea. I used to think there was good and evil, that Geoffrey Wyndham was evil because he left me, left us. I thought his family was evil, too, because they lived carefree in the grand house while others labored on their land and hardly had enough to eat and were nothing in their eyes.
This is what I used to think, that some people were simply good and others were not, and that I, of course, was good. But now I think instead that evil is a force in the world, a force that seeks, and it finds its was into our lives through anger and loss, through sadness and betrayal, like mold on bread like rot on an apple, it takes hold.’
The Lake Of Dreams
I’m going to be frank. Having to read between the lines is shit. That’s all.
I really like finding things. Whether it be finding something I have lost or finding something I didn’t know I needed or finding something I really did need but didn’t know where to look.
This year, I have a very big assignment that requires me to put together a portfolio that showcases my best work. It needs to be professional. It needs to be suitable for use in a job application. It needs to be a little piece of myself.
I have until the end of the year to put all of these requirements into a bound book.
I have been collecting the photographs I will use. I have been completing the required Costing Sheets and explanations for each of the photographs. I have not been creating something perfect to display it all in.
But! But the other morning on the train to class, I was reading an article and stumbled across the loveliest of lovely ideas. Oh! Goodness gracious – so very, very relieved indeedy!
I really like finding things.
Say it however you wish too, it will still have the same outcome: departure.
Whether someone leaves your life for a little while or for the rest of it, it is always difficult. Isn’t that a bitch.
I have too many questions that I will never ask just incases I get the answers I’m scared to hear. However, I’ve learnt the hardest question doesn’t question myself.
‘Where are you?’
A blend of Assam and Darjeeling from a famous Irish recipe.
Brew 1 teaspoon per cup.
Pour boiling water into a tea pot and infuse for 3 to 5 minutes. Add milk and sugar to taste or delicious black.
Relax and enjoy.
I think I just might.
I have recently noticed that for quite some time now, I have avoided my own company. I always seem to distract myself by doing one hundred tasks at the one time.
I did not like this discovery very much at all.
So, I did brew myself a lovely cup of Irish Breakfast and I sat in the pretty Spring morning and let my mind wander.
I am not very good at it but apparently with practice I will get better.
“It had taken her until yesterday to figure out Allie’s system of organizing flowers. The cooler was not arranged by availability or popularity of flowers, or even by color, but by what the flowers were supposed to represent. She knew that once, bouquets had been sent as a messeage, not just as ornaments of beauty. When Mia had first become interested in floral arrangement, she had been fascinated by this philosophy. Evidently, Allie was fascinated as well. She’d bunched the flowers with positive qualities on the left side of the cooler, those with negative connotations on the right. So jasmine and lilac and camellias and passionflowers – representing grace, first love, perfection, and faith – were gathered togther in serviceable black florist’s buckets. Acanthus, crocuses, thorn apples, and peonies were bunched in dishonor on the other side, signifying artifice, abuse, deciet, and shame.
It almost made Mia afraid to open the right door of the cooler, for fear that all the evil would seep into the world, like it had from Pandora’s box.”
Oh so dramatic!
I read a lot. As a result, I am irritatingly pedantic about punctuation. Recently though, I have begun to discover that I have an increasing distaste for the very common, yet very effective, full stop.
On beginning to actually make use of my mobile phone and creating a Gmail as well as a Facebook account, I have noticed how abrupt and flat a full stop usually makes someones message sound.
It is usually horrible.
Thinking about it, I probably seem like I’m constantly completely hysterical at the receiver of my messages as I am forever replacing full stops with exclamation marks in an effort to avoid the finality a full stop creates.
I don’t know? Maybe I should stop reading into things…?